الثلاثاء، يوليو 22، 2008

The Sex Files -
Emotional Deficit






Two-thirds of Men
Harass Women in Egypt
While Four out of Five
Male Workers are Harassed
By Female Co-workers
in Australia!

Time for some
"Cultural" Exchange?

By:
Wael Nawara





CAIRO (Reuters - Thu Jul 17, 2008 - Cynthia Johnston): -
Nearly two-thirds of Egyptian men admit to having sexually harassed women in Egypt according to a survey carried out by the Egyptian Center for Women's Rights.

Meanwhile, only two weeks ago, another survey showed, according to Inga Gilchrist (http://www.news.com.au/), that four out of five male workers in Australia said they'd been harassed by a female colleague, according to study for a British employment law firm Peninsula.


Sex-Starved Men?
The Egyptian survey showed that a majority say women themselves are to blame for their maltreatment for wearing "indecent" outfits. The forms of harassment reported by Egyptian men, include touching or ogling women, shouting sexually explicit remarks, and exposing their genitals (!) to women, despite the socially conservative nature of this traditional Muslim society. The behavior could have repercussions on Egypt's tourism industry, a major foreign income earner, with 98 percent of foreign women saying they had experienced harassment in the country, the survey which included more than 2,000 Egyptian men and women and 109 foreign women, said.

Less than two years ago, Egyptian bloggers reported an incident where a large mob of young males set up a sexual trap in downtown Cairo on the first day of the Eid. Almost every passing woman would be surrounded, grabbed and molested. Whether wearing Neqab, Hegab or uncovered, Egyptian and foreign women were assaulted indiscriminately. Shop owners and taxi drivers tried to protect the women from the mob by taking them inside their stores or vehicles and lock the doors, while the mobs tried to break in.

Reversed Fortunes
The situation seems to be quite the opposite down under. The British survey on Australian workplace showed that men were too afraid to complain about harassment. Aussie law firm Holding Redlich's senior associate, Fiona Knowles, said bosses were more likely to tell a man he was lucky to be ogled and hassled. One Australian man got a $10,000 payout after a Victorian tribunal found his bosses had dry-humped him and grabbed his genitals. Two-thirds of the 2300 men questioned in the British study also said that sexual banter was inappropriate at work. A separate poll of 1600 employers found bosses wouldn't take a complaint of sexual harassment as seriously if it were from a male worker! David Price of Peninsula said the balance had shifted and women now aimed sexual banter at men. "Not everyone's happy with these type of jokes and the situation is a growing problem for employers," he said.

Emotional Deficit
While the trends seem to be totally the opposite between Egypt and Australia, I suspect the reasons are similar. Emotional Deficit. For several decades, the Egyptian society was being Islamized, making the chances of having a natural and healthy pre-marriage boy-girl relationship ever diminishing. Marriage itself, it would seem is becoming more unaffordable than ever. The average age for marriage in Egypt for men has consistently increased. It is normal to see someone who is thirty years old who still has a few years to go before he can afford to provide the extensive requirements for marriage. In many cases, a young male in Egypt had to travel to the Gulf and work for a few years "building his fortune" يكون نفسه to be able to afford the hefty burdens of marriage. Knowing that boys probably reach puberty at the age of 13 or 14, this means that a male in Egypt will spend some twenty years suffering from this emotional and "physical" deficit.

In Australia, on the other hand, the rising percentage of women in white-collar jobs, probably makes the corporate workplace more dominated by women. I guess someone has to research this further, but I think it is basic supply and demand. Market forces at work. Men who are "available", "interested" and "interesting" seem to have become a rare commodity in Australia. Always with an eye for opportunities whenever a market "gap", or a "hole" is identified, I would strongly recommend the Egyptian and Australian governments to work something out in the form of some "cultural exchange" program, where young and highly eligible Egyptian men are sent to Australia. In exchange, interested Aussie women are imported into the streets of Cairo where they will have the time of their lives with the abundance of sex-starved men! A bad joke? Time to get serious.


The Parallel State:
According to the theory of the "Parallel State"**, whenever a formal economic, social, cultural or legal subsystem fails to deliver the basic needs of the people, mother nature steps in. People have collectively demonstrated a remarkable genius in devising parallel sub-systems to fill that gap, hole or deficit. Marriage becomes unaffordable, young couples resort to "civil marriage" or "Gawaz 3orfi". The taxi fare meter stuck at 60 piasters (a piaster is a coin we used to have in the past, which is about 1/100th of a pound) since 1980's, passengers and drivers have a widely accepted tariff scheme for all possible destinations and journeys, in addition to the people's invention of the "micro-bus".


A few years ago, when the government insisted on enforcing a ridiculously unrealistic exchange rate for the dollar, well, people developed their own rates and "grey" markets. In education, private tuition prospers in every direction, private schools, universities, books, lessons (doroos khososeya), IGCSE, IB & AD Centers. Courts don't work? You have thugs to bring back your money, checks or stolen land or apartment. The police doesn't care? You hire your own body guards or security officers, thank you very much. Government hospitals threaten to prematurely send you to your grave, you tip the nurses and everything will be fine, and you can always go for the five-star hospitals or the mosque clinics. Fixed rent for old apartment too low? There is "key-hold money" (Khelew Regl). And so on and on. This is the Parallel State at work and natural laws at their finest. And as these individual subsystems interact, they get interlocked in a huge web of "grey" or "shadow" subsystems, thus forming the "Parallel State", the "Shadow State".


The same goes for these emotional deficits. You want to call the abusers criminals and send them to jail, fine. So do I. This may be a part of the solution. But ultimately, on the long-term, we must learn to stop fighting nature. Accept nature. Young men and women have basic emotional and physical needs. These needs create demand which must be addressed with social solutions. Must be channeled in socially acceptable channels, affordable solutions and feasible means. The tightening moral code introduced by the Islamists only threatens to develop an explosive situation at home. There has been many reports and TV shows describing a similar situation at Saudi Arabia, where percentage of homosexuality is on the rise. Incest and other perverted forms of relationships seem to be increasing at alarmin rates. Why do we have to deny nature and see perfectly normal relations indecent is beyond me. You ignore the laws of mother-nature and you will be inviting the parallel state to devise its own solution.


And while informal or "grey" subsystems usually seem to do the job and fulfill the need, the "gap" or the unmet demand with varying degrees of success, black "subsystems" also exist as a by-product of an emerging realization that the formal state is no longer relevant. Law and Order collapse as respect for legislations diminish. Black subsystems come in the form of illegal and immoral solutions and short-cuts. Pribes, illegal permits and criminal activity spreads as respect for the law decays. If "civil marriage" or "Gawaz 3orfi" is a "grey solution" to mostly unaffordable "formal" marriage, sexual assault and molestation is a "black" and criminal behavior adopted by those who are unable to satisfy or control "that" deficit through the "grey solution", namely the "civil marriage".



I do not want anyone to think that I am an apologist on behalf of the abusers. I am not. I am with tightening the punishment, but we have to realize that few, if any, seem to be reporting or filing police complaints against the abusers. So, the long-term solution in my opinion will be, to relax or ease the tight restrictions on boy-girl relationships. Let us go back to our normal selves. Again, I am not promoting total dropping of our customs, traditions or values in favor of becoming widely permissive. I am only suggesting that we, as a society, loosen the tight screws a bit to help release some of the pressure, in order to avoid explosion of an already flammable situation.




And of course, as another solution, you are welcome to go and work in Australia.








**The Parallel State






‏هناك تعليقان (2):

Alaa يقول...

its actually a common misconception that marriages are in decline amd there are less opportunities for pre marital sexual relationships.

no statisitcal data indicates any nationwide drops in rates of marriages recently while the average age for marriage among women is rising among men it's actually the opposite (less women getting married at their teens more men getting married at their 20s)

as for premarital relationships there is some research that indicates it's actually on the rise.

so does not compute, as usual we are trying to explain this phenomena based on assumptions and dogmas same as the assumption that it happens because women are not dressed properly. I'd say sexual harassment of women is also common in mexico and the US (not with the same intensity as in Egypt obviously but still makes me doubt it's related to age of marriage and whatever else islamization is causing)

also if the study is correct and 60% of Egyptian men committed some form of sexual harrasement I bet that means married men and older men and what not do it, judging by population growth rates more than 40% of adult egyptian males are sexually active

Wael Nawara يقول...

of course you could be right

we need to see the statistics

but let me tell you an informal observation which I made

why do Egyptian young men want to immigrate to the USA, Canada, Europe & Australia

The First 2 Reasons are
* Better Economic Life & Opportunity
* Meeting Women

It is possible that the rates at which pre-marriage relationships are rising

but maybe it is not rising in a rate which matches demand, fueled by communication revolution

people see the American Movies and sitcoms on Satellite Channels and they want to lead a similar social life as "seen on TV" which is of course ridiculous because these sit-coms do not really even represent the real American lifestyle
!

this is not just happening in Egypt
but also in Asia

So, in the end, no matter what the rates are ... the feeling is clear ... that people want more social freedom

and when this is not given to them
they release that pressure in other channels

and often those channels are illegal or semi-illegal or at least socially unacceptable

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