الجمعة، يونيو 27، 2008

Dating a Republican





Never Date a Republican

By: Wael Nawara

N.B. This is a joke and will be soon followed by"Never Date a Democrat" :)

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Republicans are cruel and insensitive ...



They are too matrialistic, pessimistic and they will tell you that they are just being realistic ...



They have no compassion ...



In fact, I am not sure they even have hearts ... and if they do ... they do not know what to do with them ...



Republicans are too self-righteous ...Usually fanatic church-goers ...



Why go to church so often if they are so heartless?



I guess because they commit too many sins from which they try to absolve themselves via routine confessions to cut on the interest.


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How to recognize a Republican when you see one?


  • They like George Bush & will vote for McCain (that's obvious, right?)
  • They support the war in Iraq
  • They are against government spending on education, healthcare or social welfare
  • They are against Gun Control
  • They think that the "Ozone Layer Crack" is a name of a "Drug", a Pop Music Band or a fancy bar
  • They think that Global Warming is a Myth or worse, some of them think that Global Warming is actually good because it can cut heating bills
  • They leave no tips at restaurants
  • They will ask you to split the Bill then they will declare that they forgot their wallet or purse
  • They never buy you flowers or gifts, unless there is a Tax benefit involved
  • They will break up with you first before you break up with them
  • They will secure themselves another date before they dump your (a..)
  • They may look good from a distance but once you get close to them you discover how scary they are specially when they start to speak
  • They have sharp teeth. Protect your neck at all times
  • Republicans are never vegeterian because they believe that they sit on the top of the food chain and must exploit that
  • They are Darwinists in every sense
  • When others have misfortunes they attribute that to their incompetence and weakness
  • When they have misfortunes they attribute it to others being evil communists plotting against them
  • When others are successful they attribute that to Luck
  • When they are successful it is because they work hard
  • They fake it a lot. Yes, I mean "it"
  • They are seldom genuine
  • They are never passionate except when there is money involved
  • Once the Honeymoon period is over, they will start to use the word "Loser" a lot ... usually describing YOU

Your best Bet with a Republican is
when they consider you an "investment".

One Tip you must Remember about Dating Republicans:

"Never Date a Republican"





See this Video




Can a Democrat date a Republican?















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